Thank you for your patience with this work in progress— After some consideration of my own capacity and priorities, I have decided to make Hidden Gem a biweekly newsletter, sent out on Mondays. (Remember, go to your promotions tab and click “Move to Tab > Primary”, or drag to receive in your primary inbox!)
That’s all for now, Here’s Hidden Gem: Volume Three:
An ode to slow time and sentimentality
We are keeping time on an island clock made out of paper máche. It's a ribbon streamer parade, complete with pin wheels and fireworks. We are delaying a process of reckoning for a blissful second longer. As the shimmers hit the water under the sun our feet are in the mud and we can learn how to live in stuck or we can just float. We can float high away in a helium balloon for someone else to find— crinkle wrinkled by the winds of displacement.
Maybe hell isn't so bad after all and we are carpooling there. We could lighten our load if we emptied ourselves of the wish-fulfillment desire to be pure and perfect and hard working and all the things we chose to pack. We all tend to overpack. It's a hopeless ambition and it's probably the vestiges of "survival mindset" or some sinister aspect of material culture.
I love that people get attached to things. Stuffed animals with matted fur and missing eyes, mom's hand me down crewnecks, granny square quilts, a watch that stopped ticking. It could be set to island standard time. The warm affection that lingers is more potent than any physical quality. If you've ever chased down estate sales, lingered in a used bookstore, or cleaned out a closet, you will understand what I mean. Sentimentality is a phenomenon we can be proud of.
There aren't a lot of things worth preserving; It could be useful to take a wrecking ball to the notion of the single-family home but by god, make sure to save the photo albums and if you haven't, you should probably digitize those in case disaster strikes and your last remaining evidence that you didn't begin or end in the right here right now goes up in flames. No one ever accomplishes this before it's too late.
We overpack and we under-prepare. You can deny this, hold onto your backup plan like a neat little map, but you have no intention of following it, and if you do you are on your way to a slow coma. If there were ever a time to deploy the backup plan, surely it is now. So why is everything so upside down? Because in no situation where anything goes very wrong would you be able to claim a shred of sober thought. You could fight and claw or sigh in despair but eventually, you would think of something new, find a way to make it all work out before you refer to the process you made up in your head that was intended for "in case of emergency".
Any change that could occur would require you to recall the words you told yourself at night to build up the courage to follow through to the next step. Those words have dissolved prior to the point at which you need them. Any change of course that could occur has such a profound effect that it renders it impossible to return to the person you were before it happened. We have a few moments in life that draw borders between before and after, but almost every moment is a dotted line. When we look back, we can see the thread that strung together the monumental and the minutiae; We see the tangles and the knots.
Somewhere tied up in all of it is a catalog of keys, discount cards, mix CDs, picnic blankets, treasured rocks—The texture of the times in between. These things might slip out of our possession but they are never lost, they are always nestled into memory, bookmarking turning points and “coming to god”. You hurry along on the daily race until you hear a few familiar chords. They pin you to a distant memory and it feels like it was then.
When you are on the precipice of a new beginning or recovering from a great fall, the murmurs of ticking slow down. Anchored only to the sensory present, You can feel the condensation of the glass in your hand. Hot smoke fills your head. The cake is almost a little too sweet. A shutter advances. You find yourself in the scene you will return to, a sacred place only you can touch. There are no regrets or “what ifs”, it just is. Unbound by past or future, everything soaks in to be savored and held tenderly. This is the during.
Hidden Gems
Reading…
Paranoia's Pleasures by Zoë Hu - Hu rewrites the narrative of paranoia, shifting focus towards people with intersectional identities with realistic fears about the dangers of the world. She contemplates the experience of paranoia from a marginalized point of view, regarding it as an emotional and social phenomenon deployed as both a survival tactic and an obsessive pleasure.
Featherweight by Sterling HolyWhiteMountain - Sterling HolyWhiteMountain's story follows a reservation kid experiencing culture shock upon arrival at his PWI (Predominantly White Institution) through sex, relationships, and the complex tension in between. Through vivid portrayals, one can witness frustration with white blindness, a power struggle between men of color and white women, and the nuance of differences between Natives of different tribes. Featherweight is an unflinching depiction of alienation through cross-cultural interactions and love that goes bad.
Watching…
Wrist Game Worldwide by Jewel Ham - The curatorial project of Jewel Ham (@whateverjewel), Wrist Game is a reimagined gallery space that puts the intersection of visual art and music on display. The former Spotify Intern who went viral for her uncredited contributions to Spotify's Wrapped creates space to amplify the talent of visual and music artists alike through "a collaborative digital experience". Leading up to its April 14 launch, Wrist Game is hosting online events showcasing some of the talent on its roster.
#NeverWorns by Liana Satenstein - Vogue writer by day, Schmatta Shrink by night, Satenstein hosts a web show every Wednesday featuring various fashion people, from designers to influencers, taking on the arduous task of closet cleaning. Her fascination with understanding people through sartorial possessions guides the show, as she probes for vivid backstories and ushers in the process of letting go. You might come to quench your curiosity for what kinds of clothes fashion tastemakers have in their closet, but you’ll stay for her endlessly entertaining hotline persona.
Listening…
RETVRN TO FOUCAULT with Blake Smith by Geoff Shullenberger - Outsider Theory, a podcast offspring of a blog with the same title, covers a lot of ground, darting between hot takes on current events and eclectic readings of academic thought. In this episode, host Geoff Shullenberger and historian Blake Smith reflect on the economy of enjoyment, which is, in other words, the perverse relationship we have with engaging with public figures or ideas that we truly despise in an effort to assert moral high ground. It prompted me to reflect on my media diet and inspired stricter twitter screen time limits.
Signs of the times
The new moon in Aries signals a time for new beginnings— stop dwelling and start moving into the vibrant emotional space of “making it happen”. You might run into a few roadblocks but with a bit of luck, it will pay off in the end. With Mercury (planet of communication) and Venus (planet of love and partnerships) both in Aries, remind yourself to think before you speak and don’t rush into anything too hastily. As Venus moves into Taurus April 14th, things will soften and make way for tenderness and indulgence. If you have been feeling stuck lately, now is the time to take advantage of the curious Mars in Gemini energy to reshape your ambition.
Building our social reality
If you enjoyed this issue of Hidden Gem, please consider showing your appreciation by investing in one of these projects…
Donate to SOL Collective, a harm reduction collective in Philadelphia that works to end the war on drugs, the overdose crisis, and advocates for overdose prevention. SOL Collective hosts overdose reversal training for the community, aids in the distribution of harm reduction supplies like naloxone or fentanyl test strips, and provides education around harm reduction.
Volunteer with Manna, a Philadelphia-based organization that prepares and delivers over 35,000 nutritious meals each week to chronically ill individuals/families free of charge. Manna is a leader in evidence-based nutrition services, recognizing the power of food in healing and nourishing our neighbors.
Send support to the family of Jaida Peterson, a Black trans woman that was murdered in Charlotte, NC this past week. Her family urgently needs community support for burial and funeral costs. CASH APP: $faith0287